ITS A MAD, MAD WORLD

A SIncere Tribute

2009-08-31T03:32:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any fatal injuries attained by the reader while reading or viewing any pictures in this post.

A recent survey was conducted by H.S.B.C - Hot Sexy Babes Committee to find the sexiest man in the world. The result of this survey is posted here

Best Hair -Tom Cruise
Best Eyes - Brad Pitt

Best Dancer - John Travolta

Best Jaw - Arnold Shwartwatsisname

Best Nose - Hugh Jackman

Best Voice - Sly Stallone

Best Calf Muscle - Jean Claude Van Damm

Best Butt -David Hasselhoff

The Hero of this post is an amalgam of all the above mentioned men. He is the heart-throb of all the girls around the globe, especially in the country of Tamil Nadu. Right from my young age I have admired his talents and i grew up memorizing his poems. His fantastic sense of rythm and rhyme have left me speechless many-a-time.( especially the classic " Vaada machi-vazhakka bajji-pichuduven pichchi " one)

Although a formal introduction is not required, let me just present to all my blog readers - T.R.Rajendar , a.k.a Terror Romeo. (if you have a "tada" ringtone, please play it now..)

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, Right?

After feasting your eyes on that mindblowing pic, its time to read on...

Few scientists recently tried unravelling the mystery behind his unnatural birth. The reason behind the unsolved mystery can be understood, if you see the above picture continuously for more than 2 seconds. Some of the world's leading scientists joined hands with archaeologists, gynecologists, geo-morphologists (wtf??!!) and Navjot Singh Sidhu to find the answer to the mystery behind Terror Romeo's birth. They came up with this....

Their quest to unravel this enigma stopped abruptly when Maneka Gandhi filed an affidant in the Supreme Court as Monkey(chimpanzee) committed suicide leaving behind clues that it was mentally affected by Terror Romeo being connected with it. Apparently Darwin's theory evoked the scientists to compare Terror Romeo's DNA structure with that of a Chimp. Author's Note to Andrew Symmonds : I am not referring to you and I am not Bhajji . So you can Concentrate on your cricket now. Coming back to the topic, the monkey came to know about what the scientists were about to do to it. It couldn't digest such a shame and hence committed suicide by glancing at the above picture.

Just when the scientists were about to drop the project, they chanced upon watching "ArataiArangam", a show hosted by Terror Romeo in a popular TV channel. The participants in the show were feverently discussing about the BIG BANG theory. After much discussion, the scientists came up with the solution for Terror Romeo's birth - THE GANG BANG THEORY.

Terror Romeo has been approached by various Directors for a variety of roles, most of which he refused. Last heard, he was Directing, producing, Singing, Dancing, Editing and Lighting his yet to be released movie - "QUICKER GUN MURUGAN".

Terror Romeo Sent these to Steven Spielberg as part of his Impressive Resume for JURRASIC PARK V

1.Cool Formal dressing

2.Furious Casual dressing

3.Calm Traditional dressing

4.Angry Traditional dressing

5.The dude

6.Handsome Bridegroom

7.Romantic Bridegroom

8.Surrounded by babes

9.Bath Tub Romance

The case about the dead chimp was settled off-court by Maneka and Terror Romeo. (Author's Note to Symmonds : Again, I am not speaking about you). It is rumoured that she had a one hour telephonic negotiation with Terror Romeo and poured her heart out. Terror Romeo promised her that he would wipe away the shame caused by him to the monkey family by naming his son after a monkey. The very next year he had a baby boy and named him Chimpu . Chimpu is now following in his father's footsteps and is now the heart-throb of all the babes in town. Let us not waste our time by talking about Chimpu . Let us go back to Terror Romeo Rajendar.

Recently, the Chief Minister sent a request to the Oscar committee asking them to award all the academy awards to Terror Romeo for his outstanding achievements in Direction, Production, Lighting, Sound Effects, Music, Editing...etc.. Terror Rajendar is reportedly miffed with the committee for awarding some Indian bloke named Rahman the Oscar overlooking his obvious brilliance.

Oscar or No Oscar, Terror Rajendar has a dedicated fan in me.

Jai Ho, TRR

Save money while still being cool

2009-08-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

1 : Develop a cold. It is a more economically viable option than ice-cream.

2 : Avoid multiplexes by saying you have given up interest in Bollywood and Hollywood masala. Say you are interested in World Cinema. Watch films on pirated DVD’s

3 : Avoid spending on books of all kinds. Take a stand on wood-cutting. Good excuse for not doing homework!

4 : Wear out and tear your jeans yourself instead of pay for big brands to do it for you. Or Wear old, torn clothes. Grow a stubble. Claim you are ‘anti-cool’.

5 : Admire your friend’s song collections and borrow their ipods.

6 : Stitch together a shirt with pieces of your old shirts. Claim it’s the latest street fashion!

7 : Claim you are working for a Greenspace save trees project and borrow your friend’s unused old notebooks. Use them yourself, obviously!

And.. another quenchie ...

2009-05-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

KD .. a.k.a .. hmm... KD...

KD is a die-heard "quenchie" ( A rather pathetic pseudo-lexicon, I must confess ) , even though she has attended only a few sessions. KD breaks free from the "dumb girl" prototype which all the other female "quenchies" ( say, that rhymes with "frenchies"...) try and maintain with utmost sincerity.

They say that eccentricity is the mark of genius. KD is a genius. Hope you get the drift :)

The Mess...Need I say more...

2009-05-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

This could be a really wacky take on the most "uninventive" and totally "unhappening" place in the whole world.... no.. it's not BIT's library (which comes in a close second..)..its our very own MESS...Forgive me for my wild imagination... Here goes....

"Anand......", shouted my mom, trying to tear me away from the television. I was onto some sort of a record, with nearly twenty hours of non-stop viewing under my belt.

"Anand...", rang the familiar voice again.

"Coming maa...", I shouted back with feigned sincerity. Slowly, and reluctantly, I turned off the television. Slowly, I crawled to the kitchen, where my mother was busily preparing dinner.

Ah...mothers... they are such darlings....

Coming back to the topic, mother decided that it was time for me to STOP staying at home doing nothing ( when I had thought I had almost made a career out of it..).

She told me with an air of nonchalance - "Anand...it's time you joined a college..".

Masking my horror, I coolly replied - "O.K ma...just ensure the mess is good enough..". What followed was a lengthy conversation about the "state-of-the-art" infrastructure and the "exemplary" placement record. But I kept pressing her about the mess and finally she conceded - "The mess is a bit so-so...but I heard they serve Caviare and Asparagus soup..."

" Well...", I thought to myself, " French cuisine in a tamil nadu college, that i got to see ". So, I game Mom the thumbs up. Before I knew it, it was my first day at college.

At college, I made friends right away. Ajith , Arjun , Ram, Sujith and KY in particular were a very enthusiastic bunch of people.

I asked them in turn why they chose this particular college (name not revealed for security purposes...), and they all gave me the same answer - "To eat the Caviare and Asparagus soup...".

Soon, it was time for dinner...time for THE soup...I poured the brown watery liquid that they were serving with much gusto and started stirring it with my finger..(There was no spoon..). I found potatoes and tomatoes, but no asparagus..

"Dude, there is no asparagus or caviare in here !!" , I exclaimed.

"Unless it is in the powdered form", retorted Ajith

"I see Potatoes...!! ", it was KY, speaking as if it was a fantastic discovery.

"And tomatoes...", added Ram unhelpfully..

"I guess it is the Potato and Tomato soup today..", I said.

"Or the Tomato and Potato soup ??", queried Arjun.

Sujith who had been lying low for so long suddenly clapped his hands for attention and said in an all knowing tone, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is THE Sambar...welcome to Tamil Nadu..."

Two years have passed since. Nothing much has changed. We still remain the thickest of friends. After watching a million english movies together, we decided to imbibe some of the qualities they preached, the most important of them being- "Never Lose HOPE..".

Yes ! We never lost Hope. Everyday , we still check if the foul tasting concoction that they serve us has any Asparagus or Caviare. We have never found anything, (Although Sujith found a cockroach in his "soup" a few days ago...) but that does not dampen our spirit one bit. KY still gets excited when he sees potatoes. The wait continues.....

P.S - MESS COMMITTEE ... WAKE UP YOU @##$#@#@s......

Just as important !!

2009-04-15T23:36:00.000-07:00

So, here are the rest of the members of quench i could not introduce last time round.

SATISH -KY

Although Satish and I started the incredibly boring and " supposed-to-be-funny" concept of KY a.k.a KarmaYogi together, I am not at all envious that only he is called KY. A great cricketer, Satish also jiggles his leg and tummy around in an apparent imitation of the famous "Hakka" dance performance given by the "Newzee" rugby players.

RICHA - DiDi

A regular in quench, Richa does not fancy quizzes a lot. The rimmed spectacles might misguide you, but do not be mistaken. Richa falls into the same cliche category of North Indian Girls (read Silky and Parul ) who come to the quizzing club for everything other than quizzing. Cheers to you, Didi.

QUENCH – The unofficial Laughter Club of BIT.

2009-03-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a corner, Deepak is seen humming something in a never-before-heard language. He tells me it’s Hindi…That’s Quench for you…never short of creativity. Quench is the official quiz club of BIT, and its unofficial laughter club. Here is a brief look at its core members..

Deepak – The genial giant.

Deepak runs hard every morning and manages to lose a few pounds. But then, he never fails to go to the cafeteria in the evening to make up for the lost weight. Famous for his good jokes, his bad jokes and his pathetic jokes. Has made it his hobby to mutate hindi music beyond all recognition.

Ram – Wikipedia.

Want to know something about anything? Ask Ram. A qualified salsa dancer, Ram is the most die-hard quizzer in Quench. Responsible for maintaining some “quizzing” standards in quench. Besides being an amazing artist, Ram is also a good singer, a good cook, a good dancer, a good student, a good son, etc… etc… etc…

Gowri – Mr.Smooth.

Gowri - The quiet guy who keeps answering all the questions thrown at him. Has an amazing sense of humour. GS is usually responsible for booking the seminar hall week in and week out. One of the few true quizzers in quench…

Ambi – Kolandhapayyan.

Ambi is the true josh machine of Quench. Assures that there is no boring moment in any Quench session. Startles everyone with is unique (…ahem…) laughter which makes Sharapova’s high decibel sound like Beethovan’s Symphony.

Wikipedia trivia #4456 : Ambi’s real name is Rengarajan.

Archana – Froggie.

Imagine a human frog who can talk at a pace of 350 words per minute. Imagine a girl who can go yapeti-yap for hours together. Imagine the dumbest creature on earth. Imagine Archana. This pseudo-mallu from Surat is a high on decibels and even higher on entertainment.

S.KA - Smiling Assasin.

In the midst of a quiet quizzing session in quench, if you see a team suddenly erupting into uncontrollable laughter, be sure that S.Ka is in that team. S.Ka is probably the only person who pokes fun at anybody and everybody, but gets away each time with awe-inspiring ease.

Sharan – What the FISH ??

Sharan has a uni-dimensional view to life. He responds to any situation with the same, characteristic reply…

Difficult Question – What the FISH??

Twisted Answer - What the FISH ??

Late for dinner -What theFISH??

Early for Quench session –What the FISH ??

What the FISH !! Need I say more ??

Parul – Ha Ha Ha…

Tell Parul a joke, she laughs. That’s fine. Tell her an answer, she laughs. That’s acceptable. Tell her anything, she laughs..WTF (F for Fish, as you would have guessed ). Parul laughs at the drop of a hat. In fact, she laughs even before the bloody hat is dropped. This girl from Delhi gets easily bored by quizzes but attends them anyway… anything for quench ?? !!

Arjun – Achu alias AJ alias White Vadivel alias T.P.Nair alias…..

Want to laugh just for the heck of it? Meet Arjun. Arjun has this uncanny ability to make people laugh even when he is speaking the truth. Arjun knows nothing, but is still an important member in a quiz team for his stress-busting capabilities. Since I cant think of anything vegetarian about Arjun, I guess I have to stop at this…

Silky – Delhi Belle

Ask anybody if they have seen Silky not smiling. Chances are that you will never get an affirmative answer. Naturally dumb, she too is not a great fan of quizzes. But she thoroughly enjoys herself when other events take place. Speaking of Delhiites, guess Happiness runs in their blood….

Muthu – The PDC Export

Few members in Quench are fans of PDC.. Muthu is one of them. Associate Muthu with sincerity, loyalty, fidelity, truthfulness, and all such goody-goody characteristics which one never finds in a normal human being.

Shreenithi – Lacto ninja

Shree does not drink milk, or eat milk products ( That includes chocolate and ice-cream). Shree does not eat capsicum. Shree does not eat bread. Shree does not eat chappathi. But she still manages to beat all the guys during a GEO trek!! Her diet is an enigma which we Quench members are still pondering upon. Recently, Shree has become synonymous with “Salsa”.. Jai ShreeRam..

Ankan – BONG !!

Ankan is of the view that incredible questions deserve even more incredible answers. Ask Ankan a “Connect” question, and even the quiz master is befuddled by the sheer audacity displayed by this inimitable Bengali. Ankan brings the quiz alive… and I stop at that..

Vinay – The “Warrier” Within

Vinay.S.Warrier proves that not all pseudo-mallus are dumb (An image propagated and maintained with gusto by Arch). Vinay is a quiet operator, much like Gowri, and is one of those rare people who answer (or at least TRY to answer) Ram’s TOUGHIES…

Sandheep – Football, F1, and nothing else.

If Sandheep does not know the answer for a question, his first guess is surely – “Sir Alex Fergusson”. He is the Dumb-C specialist in Quench. If Ram poses Toughies in quiz, its Sandheep who performs this sadistic act in DUMB-C.

Ajith – The perennial scorer.

Ajith has come for almost every Quench session that was conducted last year. But then, Ajith has not participated in even one quiz to date. Ajith is the official score keeper of Quench. He is the guy who moves to the next slide…

Sibe - She's the Man..

Sibe is simply the most adored member of Quench. Everybody loves to pull her leg. Everybody loves it when she is in their team. In short, everybody simply adore her.. well.. that's what i said in the first place !!

The next set of Whacky members will be introduced shortly.

Until then.
Adios
Amigos
Keep Quizzing…

ITS MY LIFE.....

2009-03-09T05:35:00.000-07:00

STATUORY WARNING : Any resemblance of any character in this story to any individual, living, dead, or idle, (especially in BIT, an autonomous institution affiliated to Anna University Coimbatore) is purely intentional…

0730 hrs Room 235, Diamond.

I have just woken up. Generally, I would have slept till much later, but then my stomach kept rumbling louder than my morning alarm. A voice in my head kept telling me – “ Anand, sleep for another half an hour. Breakfast is going to be worse than the dinner you ate yesterday. “ But then, defying common sense has become my morning routine… I spread my impending misery of an unsavoury breakfast to Ram and Ajith by religiously waking them up. Ajith is my pseudo room-mate, if you know what I mean. I’m always in his room, or he is always in mine, although we are not official room-mates. We meet Arjun (a.k.a AJ) and Sujith on the way to the mess. They give us the usual thumbs down, indicating that the miracle we have been praying for ( a good breakfast ) has not yet happened. The mess committee has come up with the ingenious idea of playing loud, blaring, popular songs to distract our senses away from the sloppy mess they call ‘breakfast’. It works to a certain extent, but the micro-second that passes between the changing of one song to another is enough to remind us of the woeful inadequacy of taste, or ‘edibility’ of the food.

0800 hrs Ground floor bathroom.

After a leisurely breakfast, where the three of us discussed the morning news, foul-mouthed teachers, listened to music, and made fun of silly looking seniors wearing rainbow coloured outfits, and ate a morsel or two in between, I hurry to take my bath. After 15 minutes of waiting in queue, I finally enter a bathroom, only to find that I forgot my soap. I hurry back to my room to get the soap, and behold… My bathroom has been illegally occupied ! A few anxious moments later, I get another bathroom. My bath lasts for all but two ‘leisurely’ minutes… After applying a whole load of face creams, and hair gels, topped with a healthy dose of talcum powder (The well-kept secret of my fair complexion), I hurry to class.

0832 hrs The Classroom.

The girls start giggling and the boys guffawing as I enter the classroom, ceremonially late. I wonder to myself- “ Have I applied too much of powder ? “. Turns out that is not the case. They were all laughing at Balakumar, also known as ‘Balku’, ‘Terror’, ‘Light of Asia’, etc… He is the closest thing one can find to a pure black body. He walks with a spring in his step, and ridiculously exaggerates every action he performs. Balku’s presence is always accompanied by laughter. I heave a sigh of relief. As long as Balku is with me, I will always look handsome, albeit relatively.After what seems like 3 hours of monotonous, meaningless droning from the teacher, I check my watch to see that only 20 minutes have elapsed since my arrival. I make my decision…the same decision that I make day in and day out, I HAVE TO CUT CLASSES TODAY. My bench-mate and original room-mate Karthik (the famous ‘FIRE’) tells me for the 42nd time in the last 20 minutes –“ The class is such a big MOKKAI, man”. MOKKAI is a common Tamil phrase that is used to describe anything that is unbelievably boring. For the 42nd time, I nod my head in assent.

1020 hrs Diamond Hostel.

The hostel supervisor smiles at me as I go to my room. Previously, he used to yell at me and threaten to lodge a complaint against me for cutting classes. But then, I won him over with my persistence and my never-say-die attitude. I go to my room, put on some music and stretch my legs, when I meet Ram dressed in a semi-transparent bathing towel and nothing else. Seems his room-mate locked him out when he had gone to take bath. He has been wandering around the hostel searching for shelter. It’s almost lunch time. I lend Ram a t-shirt and shorts (which actually belong to Sujith) and then we go back to the mess ( named so for a specific reason ! ), have lunch and return to 235. I almost persuade Ram to cut classes after lunch, but few seem to share the same enthusiasm in cutting classes as I display. The evil supervisor then decides to make me feel uncomfortable and sweaty. He cuts the electricity supply of the hostel, leaving me to fight the simmering heat of the mid-day Tamil Nadu sun. I hit back by draping bed sheets on all the windows, spraying water all over my body, and sleeping through the hardships imposed upon me by that evil man. I am, as you would have guessed by now, a seasoned and highly experienced ‘Class-cutter’.(for want of a better word). Soon, the electricity supply is resumed, and I treat myself to a well-earned movie. I have seen more movies during college hours than I generally see during an average summer vacation ( 60 days= >75 movies ). BIT has helped me appreciate the magic of cinema. It has also helped me justify and even endorse movie privacy. How else can I see recently released Hollywood movies sitting in the small, rather dirty , town of Sathyamangalam? I am indebted to my college in one way, at least.

0430 hrs The Cafeteria

At half past four, Ajith, Ram and I make our way to the ‘café’ ( pronounced more like ‘safe’ in BIT ). Generally, in any college, the Cafeteria obtains cult status. It is the place where boys ogle away to glory, girls giggle looking at the guys looking at them ( phew ! that was confusing to write… and imagine..), nerds discuss equations, gluttons hog, friends share their experiences, students celebrate birthdays, or teachers stop by for their evening tea. In BIT, the cafeteria is ‘Forbidden Kingdom’. The sprawling cafeteria complex offers around 3, at the maximum 4 dishes to choose from. On crowded evenings, there will be around 30 students inside, a paltry 0.8% of the 4000 strong student population in BIT.Thanks to our mess, we have begun to appreciate mediocrity. We heap praise on the barely passable fare offered in the cafeteria. Ram is the main accused in this case, as he further accentuates the point by buying another dosa and gobbling it up even before Ajith and me have finished our first one. After satisfying our appetite, we come back to hostel and proceed to the most interesting and fun place in college–Arjun and Sujith’s room.

0545 hrs Room 221, Diamond Hostel.

When we enter Arjun’s room, we are usually greeted by a host of people who are using his laptop to watch some movie. It is common knowledge that Arjun loves his solitude. Nobody cares ! Everybody knows Arjun hates sharing his biscuits. Nobody cares ! Everybody knows that Arjun hates his laptop being made into a public property. Nobody cares !Arjun and Sujith are perhaps the best room-mates ever. Arjun loves teasing Sujith. Sujith loves kicking Arjun around. We have a very important role to play here. We tease Sujith along with Arjun, and kick Arjun along with Sujith. That way, both of them are satisfied that we are on their side, and we keep ourselves entertained. Calling Sujith a “homo” is akin to calling Gandhiji a terrorist. No link whatsoever! But then, we derive sadistic pleasure in concocting adventure filled love-stories involving Sujith and the supervisor.(The same evil man !). Hence, he is also called “Super- Sujith”. This hullabaloo continues till all of us have to go to the mess and have “dinner”. (another bad, bad meal ! )

To be continued…